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Showing posts from 2011

Moving, Moving, Moving

I am not a runner. In fact, I am not an athletic person at all. Growing up, the only sport I really participated in was swimming and really I only did that in the "I swim on the country club's summer swim team mostly so my parents can socialize" kind of way.
I didn't like balls coming at me, or balls that I had to chase (really? what's the point of that?) and so I just avoided most sports completely and willingly accepted myself as "non-athletic."
As a mother with children who are athletic (and of course now I'm also the wife of a soccer coach), I have learned to appreciate sports but still mostly in the "I'm just here to sit on the sidelines and socialize" kind of way.
And I was fine with all of this.
But earlier this summer, a friend who is helping to organize the Pekin to Peoria St. Jude Run (a satellite event to the Memphis to Peoria run) tried to convince me to sign up. At first, I just laughed but she insisted the event isn't abo…

A Day in the Life of Ainsley - age (almost) 16 months

7:20am - Hey! What was that? Sounded like my big brother Aidan slamming the toilet lid! Thank goodness he did that or I might have slept in today and since everyone else is already up and leaving for wherever it is they go all day, I KNOW mommy wants me to get up too! Some days I don’t get up until after everyone else has already left and mommy always looks so lonely. I’d better start yelling so she knows to come and get me!
8:30am - Better start asking for some breakfast. Nursing was great but it’s time to sink my teeth into some toast too!
9:30am - Mommy is dozing on the couch. I don’t know why Sesame Street puts her to sleep, it’s one of the few shows I find really fascinating! Oh well, I will sit here in my little chair and watch... but just for a little bit.
10:00am - Got my exercise done for the day. I crawled all over mommy on the couch for about 20 minutes... phew, what a workout!
10:30am - I see mommy’s heading to the bathroom. I’d better go with her and be sure to shut the door …

Packrats Anonymous

I think I have always been a "packrat."
I consider it a side effect of my sincere, severe sentimentality. I hold on to things because of the memories they evoke and because so many times I've had those "I'm so glad I kept this" moments.
As a result, I've had some of my "stuff" scattered at various places around town. My old ten-speed bike and prom dresses were at my grandparents' house. My wedding gown and every newspaper story I wrote in the year I worked full-time for the Pekin Times were stowed away at my dad's house. My old dollhouse and speech trophies are still waiting for me to recover them from my dad's old house, where my former stepmom still lives.
But since losing my dad and my grandpa and having to pack up and clean out both of their homes, I think I might be turning over a new leaf. Fresh off of the two-week stint of emptying out and dividing up my dad's belongings, we rented a dumpster for our own house and have bee…

Another Lion King kind of Day...

This past week has been a hard one for me.
The sale of my dad's house - after hitting a few minor bumps along the way - really looks like it will happen. My sister, who had been living there since he died, bought her own house and moved out last weekend. So over the past week I have finally been going through the task of cleaning out and cleaning up the home my dad created and enjoyed the last three years of his life.
I don't know how anyone ever does this soon after a death. I am eternally grateful that time has cushioned the blow, but of course it still stings.
Countless times over the past week, I have picked up something and thought, "wow... this is a (fill in the blank here.) I'll bet most women wouldn't know what it is. I'll bet my dad is proud to see that I was paying attention!"
Other times, I pick something up and think, "what the *&^%^&** is this?"
Or... "why did he need 34546765 of these?"
By far the most dangerous though…

Ainsley's Home Birth - Finding the Sun

When we got married, I said I wanted to have four kids. I think Edgar thought I would change my mind. After 12 years of marriage, he now knows better - some may call it stubbornness but I prefer to think of it as stoic determination. :) Even after our first three children were born, I always felt like our family was missing someone. I was right. (Something else my husband has learned a thing or two about in the past 12 years. LOL!) Here is the story as I wrote it just before Ainsley's First Birthday this past January. Warning: there are some details that some might consider fairly graphic. If you've ever been at a birth at all, you should be just fine!



Dear Ainsley,
I have wanted to record the story of your birth since the very moment you entered our world. I wanted so badly to record every single thought and memory I had and I knew if I didn’t do it soon afterwards, many of those memories could be lost. So I wanted to do it soon, but it just didn’t work out that way.
Instead, it…

Wow, how time flies

So, I'm blogging again.
There, I said it. I made it official and after I post this I'm going to let others know.
I'm making a commitment.
It's funny to see that it has been almost exactly two years since I last posted an entry. Ironically, it was Election Day that had inspired me that day and here I am, starting at another Election Day just around the corner. The first time we will elect a Mayor since my dad was re-elected four years ago.
Four years ago. How is that possible? For that matter, how have 2 years passed here?
Funny that I didn't seem to take my own advice. I know (and knew) that I needed to journal more. But doing it was just a commitment and let's be honest, I was in no place 2 years ago to commit to much. It's interesting to look back on those last few posts though and realize that although it seldom feels like it, I AM making progress on this crazy grief ride.
Oh, it's still a roller coaster. And this week has been full of some unexpected twi…